Self Harm: Treat the Reason

I’m so glad you’ve taken a moment to read this article.

Perhaps you’re struggling, you know someone who is, or you are simply curious about this subject and would like to know more.

One of the most important messages you need to hear is: Self Harm doesn’t discriminate based on gender, race, age, religion, disability or sexual orientation and is certainly not an attempt of suicide, a cry for help or attention seeking.

Having witnessed the profound impact of Self Harm first-hand throughout my career both in the community and within the UK’s prison system, I felt compelled to write this article in support of National Self Harm Awareness Day on March 1st. #UnderstandingNotJudgment

What do you think of when you hear the phrase Self Harm?

Someone deliberately hurting themselves, cutting, scratching, punching even? Do you ask yourself why someone would feel the need to cause themselves pain and suffering? How can they do that to themselves? Would it surprise you to know that Self Harm is not used to cause pain, but to release built-up tension and mental anguish that simply can’t be expressed any other way?

Seeking to hurt oneself is a way of dealing with very difficult feelings, painful memories or overwhelming situations and experiences because the alternative – outwardly expressing one’s emotions feels impossible. A person who Self Harms has not yet found a healthy, effective coping strategy for their thoughts and feelings. Their reason has not been treated.

Coping mechanisms are personal to us all, and we do the best we can with the tools that we have. But we don’t know what we don’t know – how can we treat the reason for Self Harm if we are unsure what the reason is?

Don’t be fooled into thinking Self Harm is always about causing a visible cut, scratch or bruise – it’s not. Think about hair pulling, skin picking, overeating, undereating, high-risk behaviour, and addiction. These are all signs of Self Harm and point to a person’s difficulty in expressing overwhelming emotions. They are leaching out in behaviours that are hurtful, risky and detrimental.

Triggers to Self Harm are everywhere, no one is immune and we all respond differently based on our environment at the time. Sometimes we cope, and sometimes we just don’t, and without help, or understanding, Self Harm can seem like a coping strategy that allows us to find relief from the overwhelming feelings of distress in that moment.

How can healing begin?

Treat the Reason – start to understand the why. By beginning to understand the cause, you can recognise the symptoms and can begin to heal, from the inside out. By working on the internal scars, the external scars of Self Harm will eventually fade away.

There are many ways you can begin to explore self-help such as:

But fundamentally, you need to treat the reason. Be curious, and explore all possibilities. Be prepared for the journey, however painful it is because the destination – free from Self Harm – will be worthwhile and remember you don’t have to go through this alone.