A week when tears were important

Last week the media spotlight was turned on the Chancellor, Rachel Reeves because she was ‘visibly upset’ during Prime Minister’s questions. It transpired that this was due to a personal matter which had spilled over into her professional life. She later commented that lots of people have a bad day and they can get away with it; her bad days get put on the telly and broadcast to the world.

An article in The Guardian by an anonymous contributor explored their experience of when Marina Abramovic, a Serbian conceptual and performance artist, exhibited (for want of a better phrase) her work, ‘The Artist is Present’. The performance involved artists sitting in a chair all day, with members of the public present, watching and moving around them.

The author of the article writes that they were ‘immediately drawn to one of the artists, a man from Myanmar who was to perform the chair piece with a cloth sack over his head.’ The artist had been a member of a group that had been opposed to violence and if his identify was revealed, his life would be in danger. The author felt compelled to sit in front of him and was moved to tears. They recalled their own childhood, which had been traumatic due to their father’s physical abuse. And they drew strength from the artist’s bravery.

‘I cried: the good tears, where you let part of your past go. It felt cleansing.’ Art can indeed impact us emotionally on a very deep level.

Crying is a release and is often done in private. The media did not know what to do with Rachel Reeves’ public tears. She was seen as fragile, vulnerable, weak even. Tears shed with a trusted therapist can be healing, restorative; they can be ‘the good tears.’ A memorable phrase from our relational integrative training was ‘witnessed tears are healing tears.’ Sharing grief and sadness and having your emotions and tears witnessed and seen can truly provoke healing. Reach out, you don’t have to cry alone.

• The Guardian
• Marina Abramovic