Holding Space for Holiday Stress: Finding Connection and Calm in a Difficult Season

The festive season is often painted as a time of uninterrupted joy, perfect family gatherings, and effortless connection. And for many, it is a period of genuine warmth and reunion. We acknowledge and respect that joy.

However, beneath the twinkling lights and cheerful carols, the holidays can also exert tremendous pressure, acting as a stressor that strains even the strongest relationships and intensifies existing emotional pain. If this season feels more like a gauntlet than a celebration, you are not alone.

In the relational space, we understand that stress doesn’t exist in a vacuum; it’s often triggered by heightened expectations, financial pressures, and the forced proximity to complex family dynamics.

Recognising the Relational Weight of the Holidays

The difficulty often stems from the gap between expectation and reality. We are expected to show up as our happiest, most generous selves, often while navigating old family roles or the sharp absence of loved ones we have lost. This pressure can manifest as:

• • • Heightened Conflict: Exhaustion and stress shorten patience, turning minor disagreements into painful arguments with those we care about most.

• • • Intensified Loneliness: Seeing curated pictures of ‘perfect’ families can make feelings of isolation and disconnection feel far more acute.

• • • The Activation of Old Wounds: Contact with extended family can resurrect childhood dynamics, forcing us back into roles we thought we had outgrown.

Your feelings—whether they are stress, sadness, resentment, or anxiety—are valid, and they deserve space. True self-care during this time is not about hiding these feelings but gently making space for them.

Simple Tools for Finding Your Ground

As relational practitioners, we believe that true healing happens in connection, but connection starts with your relationship with yourself. Here are three simple, actionable techniques to help you navigate the holiday pressure while maintaining your boundaries and balance:

Your Next Step: A Gentle Invitation to Self-Compassion

If reading this brought a lump to your throat or a sense of recognition, please know that this season is temporary, and your feelings are a compass. The most profound action you can take right now is to honour your own experience, even if the world around you is insisting on joy.

The next step is not always a grand gesture; it is often a small act of kindness toward yourself.

• • • Be Gentle: Give yourself permission to feel what you feel, without judgment or the need to fix it immediately.

• • • Acknowledge Your Needs: If you are tired, rest. If you are overwhelmed, retreat. If you are lonely, reach out to one safe person.

• • • Practise Self-Acceptance: Embrace the fact that you may not have the ‘perfect’ holiday, and that is absolutely okay. You are exactly where you need to be.

The true work of relational healing begins when we offer ourselves the same compassion and acceptance we would offer a dear friend.